Strong Female Heroines from a Male Point of View

Last week I was talking with someone about writing and the subject of what I write, specifically the fact that I prefer to write strong female protagonists, came up.

I can say that I have always been drawn to read stories with strong female leads.  As far back as I can remember, that has always just seemed to be my preference.  I am not exclusive in reading books with a female protagonist, but I definitely read more of those stories than ones with a male lead.  For that reason, it seemed very natural that I would prefer to write strong female characters in my own stories.

However, last week I was asked something I had not been asked before: “Why does that appeal to you so much?”

The question gave me pause; I didn’t have a ready answer, I just knew that was what I liked.  I had to stop and think about the reasons for a while and below are a couple of theories I have.

First, and I think this is significant, growing up, from kindergarten through middle school, my younger brothers and I were the only boys in the neighborhood.  There were girls up the street, down the street, and around the block.  I hung out with all of them and they were my friends.  We played together, got in trouble together, and we were all equals.  Interestingly enough, we never even went through that “cooties” phase where we couldn’t stand each other.  Yes, I may have played house a bit more than I wanted to, but I really didn’t mind.  Plus, several of the girls were as much a tomboy as not and we’d play ball and explored the woods and creek at the end of the street.  There were so many adventures in those woods, running through the creek and coming home soaked and muddy from head to toe.

I am sure that early phase of my life, which I look back on with pride, is a big factor in me seeing women as being able to fit into a heroic role (or really any role) as easily as a man.  I see women as fully capable and to this day, don’t understand the appeal of “boys versus girls” competitions.  My preference would always be to be on the girl’s team (that’s were the girls are and they are just fun to be around).

However, I think there is a second reason I prefer female leads and this has to do with gender stereotypes.  For a man, tradition holds that he has to be stoic and willing to rush off alone down the road to overcome the obstacles.  Relying on others and having doubt is considered a weakness.  Physical strength, skill, and power makes him a hero.

The trouble with this stereotype, when it is depicted too strongly, it can put up a barrier between the reader and the character.  When the hero has to be stoic, with no uncertainty in his abilities, and no doubts to share with others, that can make the male role flatter and less defined.  He shares less with the reader and I end up having more trouble bonding with the character.

In real life, most heroes do need help and support.  They have doubts and feelings and want to know what they do is correct.  Humans are generally social beings and a female lead is not constrained to the limits of the male stereotype.  Needing support and having feelings is not considered a weakness.  Instead, it can make her a more dynamic character and more engaging.  The female character can focus on what she is good at, while she leads and motivates the others, and still is allowed to have doubts and fears.

That does not mean she cannot be physically strong and skilled.  However, physical strength alone does not really make one heroic.  Truly, it comes down to having a strength of will and willingness to do what is needed even when it is a challenge.  To me, the physical strength and skill is secondary.

One of my favorite female protagonists is Firekeeper, the main character in Jane Lindskold’s Wolf Series.  She is strong and unique, but she knows she needs her friends to do many things that she is not good at or does not want to learn to be good at.  She accepts their help and is not less because of it.  To me, what makes her heroic is her unfailing support and love for Bind Seer, despite the difficulties that relationship promises.  She is loyal and determined and knows what she wants.  She simply has an enormous strength of character.

Now, I am not saying all male characters are portrayed in a flat, dimensionless way.  I have read many very good stories with male leads and if someone wrote a story with a female lead where she behaved like a stereotypical man with long hair, I would not like that story either.  Male or female, I want to like the character, learn and grow with them, and most importantly, feel a connection.